As I pushed through life with such a great desire to be accepted I came to a junction a little more than ten years ago when I unraveled. And when you unravel as an established adult, mother, wife, daughter and friend, you hurt a lot of people in the process.
My choices alienated me from many members of my family, including my eldest son and scores of friends. My father told me he would reject me until I repented…it would take years to restore our relationship. I learned many lessons through my time in the wilderness, a period I own and take complete responsibility for.
There were a handful of friends and family members who would listen as I poured out what I thought I was going through. But the moment I started to get a glimpse of the real me came in a counseling session on the heels of several failed relationships.
“Lois, when are you going to choose to be with someone who’s your equal?” my therapist asked me.
“Here’s the deal. You either want to fix someone or change someone into a person they will never be, or you want to fix or change yourself so much that you’re no longer yourself. What are you so afraid of?”
My recipe for acceptance was destined for disaster every time, until I met my equal.
My Hybrid journey week 17.